Is there any better representation of American society than the annual championship Saturday halftime Dr Pepper Tuition Giveaway? Hey kids, here’s a chance to throw some footballs in a can for the chance to not graduate in crippling debt!
Aw, you didn’t make enough in? Sorry, better luck next time. Here’s the number for Sallie Mae.
Yeah, yeah, it’s a nice gesture and a good cause. The football-themed competition is an…interesting way to decide who gets the $100K, but since it’s the way we have, here’s a ranking of what seems to be the best strategy if any of you readers ever find yourself in the unique situation of throwing footballs in a can for a substantial amount of money. (Also — are these kids allowed to train? I’d have my giant Dr Pepper can set up in the garage just running drills all day).
One college student shocked the world today with his immaculate pop-a-shot technique, which involves a baseketball-style release with a smooth wrist snap from your right hand — and while you’re mid-shot, you’re already reaching into the giant bucket for the next ball. It’s effective, it’s efficient, and once you have your wrist movement down, it’s all about the repetition. The aim can be an issue if your attention is divided between the reach and the toss, but if you can figure out the best trajectory and get that muscle memory down, that hundred grand is all yours.
The Chest Pass
This has been a go-to for years for Dr Pepper Tuition Giveaway challengers. With little to no background in sports, this allows for the double-armed strength necessary to reach the giant Dr Pepper can and the chest-forward aim that takes out a lot of the nuance of the one-hand throw. It’s a bit on the slow side, as you have to fully pivot each time to both grab a football out of the bucket and then again toward the can to throw, but it’s proven a relatively effective method for many college students hoping to dig themselves out of crippling student debt.
The QB Throw
Unless you were a starting quarterback or pitcher on your high school team, I wouldn’t recommend this one, but I’d bet that if you were, this would be a great strategy. The speed behind the throws would cut down mid-throw reach time, and if you’ve still got the arm you did when you were 16 years old, the accuracy should be pinpoint, especially in a can opening as large as this one. I’ve never actually seen this one in action, and this makes me wonder whether the candidates are vetted before to make sure that they’re only average or below average at athletic stuff. In that case, I’m about to fight for the rights of kids who weren’t good enough to play in college and still have to pay tuition. Let them throw!
Illegal, obviously. But can you imagine if someone just did that? It would be so funny.