Sports

Conclusive evidence ends basketball’s most annoying debate

Not sure anyone has ever pondered this before, but there’s new evidence in the Jordan vs. LeBron debate.

Not sure anyone has ever pondered this before, but there’s new evidence in the Jordan vs. LeBron debate.
Image: Getty Images

It’s funny how much weight we give anecdotal evidence in arguments. Did LeBron ever eat a tainted pizza and win a title the day after? How many playoff buzzer-beaters does Curry have? Michael never beat a 73-win team in The Finals.

It appears James tried to shore up his urban myth resume against Detroit the other night, trying to match Jordan’s eyes-closed free throw. It went … well just see for yourselves.

The argument is over.

Jordan is clearly the best player ever after this latest development as if your opinion on the matter wasn’t already determined. I have no idea how this didn’t lead First Take. How did I not revisit this infuriating discussion that will never be settled?

Is James in health and safety protocol because of COVID of the ego and his PR team thought that might overshadow him clearly trying and failing to replicate the GOAT? What a perfect time to tweet a bunch of fish emojis.

This is all the proof I need to know that LeBron would’ve lost the dunk contest he never entered, too. I’m not talking about the alleged coverup; I’m talking about the extra “is” between “Something” and “REAL.” It should be “🤔 Something REAL 🐡🐠🐟🐠🐟🐟 going on.” Mike would’ve never made that grammatical error, and he would’ve played through COVID, too.

You could say I buried the lede because you can interpret the tweet a number of ways, but I see through the talcum powder LeBron tried to throw in everyone’s eyes. What’s next? You going to change your jersey number before we learn heat exhaustion forced you off the golf course after only 27 holes with Giannis?

Gimme a couple Law & Order dun duns because I just Matlock-ed the fuck outta the prosecution. 

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