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Bengals QB Joe Burrow says Cincinnati is too boring to get COVID

Joe Burrow concurs: Cincinnati is m-m-m-MID

Joe Burrow concurs: Cincinnati is m-m-m-MID
Photo: Getty Images

As COVID wipes out swaths of NFL rosters throughout the country, Cincinnati QB Joe Burrow has offered up his theory on how the Bengals have stayed relatively healthy during this time. No, not extra testing or vaccine mandates — it’s literally just that Cincinnati is, well, boring.

His exact words to the press were “Fortunately, there’s not a ton to do in Cincinnati. Nobody is going out to clubs and bars and getting COVID.” You just have to respect the audacity of dunking on the city that he plays for every weekend, and also the straight up honesty of the statement. He’s got a point — Bengals players don’t have the same temptations of, say, the Dolphins or Rams or Titans, who all play in cool and fun cities (sorry, Cincinnati, Joe’s words, not mine).

So we decided to look at what Cincinnati does have to offer. Of course, there’s always the famous Skyline Chili, which I’m not sure is in the diet of your average NFL player. I’ve never personally been to Cincinnati, but from what I’ve heard, the chili is a somewhat controversial topic, and I would love to hear Joe Burrow’s thoughts on that, as well.

Cincinnati’s not having the easiest time of it right now — there’s also a TikTok audio going semi-viral (as viral as you can get these days, I suppose) of AEW wrestler MJF declaring everything in the Midwest to be “mid” (for those of you unfamiliar with the term, here’s the Urban Dictionary page on it). Every example he proceeds to use to back up his anti-Midwest rant is based in Cincinnati (chili included), which I suppose is the epitome of the Midwestern city. Still, harsh.

There is, of course, the Cincinnati Zoo, home to Fiona the Hippo, and perhaps more notoriously known for the 2016 death of Harambe the Gorilla, which sparked a cultural revolution and changed the course of our collective reality. So maybe not a prime vacation destination, but not totally boring, either! Cincinnati does have the unfortunate characteristic of being in Ohio, though. Kind of drew the short straw on that one.

Fiona the hippo!

Fiona the hippo!
Photo: AP

All in good fun here — it’s a good sign that Burrow and the Bengals have been staying safe and keeping their roster largely healthy, so they won’t have to deal with the enormous chunks of players in COVID protocols that many other teams in the league are seeing at the moment that has caused several games to be rescheduled. The Bengals will play the Ravens at home this Sunday, as both teams currently sit atop the AFC North with 8-6 records. It will be a rematch of a Week 7 game in which Burrow and the Bengals demolished Baltimore.

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