DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is so tight that I’d rather divorce him than spend my retirement living with him in misery.
I’m 60 and have been married for 35 years to a man, now 65, who has become more penny-pinching the older he’s got.
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When we were younger, and bringing up our kids, I appreciated his insistence on budgeting and saving money.
But now the children have left home, we’re retired and are comfortable, I’ve realised that he’s a proper miser.
He snaps at me if I buy full-priced food or new clothes, and turns the heating off in winter, saying to put on another jumper.
I want to enjoy my retirement – travel, go to the theatre, eat out with friends.
I’ve worked hard all my life and have lots saved.
What is the point of leaving everything to our two daughters when we die, if we are unhappy for the rest of our lives?
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My husband says if we get divorced he’ll fight me for every penny.
What can I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: We can’t take a penny with us when we die, so many will understand your frustration.
Your husband sounds miserable. The way through this impasse is to get to the root of why he can’t bring himself to spend money – which probably stems from his childhood experience.
If you still love him and are otherwise happy, relationship counselling could help. See tavistockrelationships.org or call 020 7380 1960.